


You Look Cute!

by benhalfway



Series: Ballum One Shots [7]
Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Childhood Trauma, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Moving In Together, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:27:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27053386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benhalfway/pseuds/benhalfway
Summary: Ben and Callum are moving everything into their new home when Ben stumbles across a box with Callum's beanies and jumpers stashed in it. He asks Callum about them and they talk about his past.Trigger warnings: Past child abuse, implied/referenced homophobia and mentions of past injury. I’m sorry if I’ve missed any. If I have, just let me know and I’ll add them!
Relationships: Ben Mitchell & Lexi Pearce, Callum "Halfway" Highway & Lexi Pearce, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum One Shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571590
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	You Look Cute!

Ben groans as he attempts to take one of the boxes from the back of the van but it's too heavy.

"Jesus, babe. What the hell is in here? You're such a hoarder!"

"Uh, I am not! Everything I own, I own for a reason! Also is this really coming from you, Mr. I must own 20 of the same coat in different colours?"

Ben scowls at Callum over his shoulder, earning a laugh from his boyfriend in return.

"Will you just shut up and help me move this ridiculously heavy box? I mean what's even in here, a huge collection of bowling balls?"

Callum rolls his eyes at his dramatic boyfriend but steps forward to help him anyway, lifting up the box with ease and carrying it inside.

Ben stares at him in shock. How did he do that so easily, and all by himself?

When Callum returns, he laughs at his boyfriend's shocked expression.

"It's called having muscle, babe. Then again, I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"Oh, you cheeky little shi-"

"Daddy!"

Ben is cut off as he hears his daughter's voice behind him. He turns around and smiles when he sees her running towards him, Lola following not far behind.

"Hiya, baby! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"

He lifts her up and throws her in the air before catching her, and the giggles she lets out are like music to his ears.

"I wanted to see your new house on the way there! Mummy said no but I didn't listen. She said I've got your uh...jeans? But she's obviously being stupid cause I'm wearing a skirt!"

Ben bursts out laughing while Lola tuts, shaking her head.

"We've not even properly moved in yet, princess. We're just bringing all the boxes in now."

"Uhh, correction: _I'm_ bringing the boxes in while you complain that they're too heavy."

Ben scowls at Callum while Lexi and Lola laugh.

"Yeah, daddy's weak. I beat him at arm wrestling every single time."

"Uhh, only cause I let you win, madam."

"Sure, daddy. You keep telling yourself that."

She gives him a sarcastic smile and Ben does a bit of a double take at how similar they are. She's like his little mini-me.

Callum and Lola burst out laughing while Ben just blushes.

Damn, he really got snaked by his own daughter. His own flesh and blood. Disgraceful.

"Anyway, shouldn't you be at school, young lady?"

He sets her back on her feet and she pouts, giving him her best puppy eyes.

"Daddyyyy?"

"Yeah, princess?"

"Lexi, don't you dare-"

"Can I have the day off? Mummy said no but you're nicer than mummy. You let me have that day off when I wasn't really sick."

Lola gasps and Callum bursts out laughing while Ben's face pales.

"Lexi, that was supposed to be a secret!"

"Well, it ain't now. Anyway, can I? Pleeeease? Mummy won't have to worry about me 'cause I'll stay here with you!"

Ben sighs and shakes his head.

"No, baby. We've got to finish moving our stuff in and you've got to go to school. You can't stay off all the time, you need to learn. You don't even know the difference between clothing and genetics."

Lola snorts while Lexi stares up at him in confusion.

"What's genetics?"

"Point proven. Off you go, princess. Go to school and then I promise you, you can come see the house after."

"Okayyy. Bye, daddy."

"Bye, baby."

He crouches down to give her a hug, whispering that he'll let her stay off tomorrow as long as she doesn't tell Lola, which makes her giggle mischievously.

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, princess."

They pull away from their hug and she heads over to Lola and grabs her hand.

"Bye, Callum! I'll see you after school!"

"Bye bye, sweetheart."

Lola mouths 'thank you' to Ben before waving goodbye to him and Callum. They wave back, then once they're gone, Ben turns to Callum.

"I sorta kinda maybe might have possibly maybe kinda-"

"Ben, spit it out."

"I may have um...told her she can stay off tomorrow...if she doesn't tell Lola...just to get her to go to school."

He's sheepish as he admits it, and Callum facepalms at his dumb boyfriend.

"I can't believe you sometimes."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do! Being a parent is tough, Cal. Sometimes you have to make compromises and deals just to get them to do simple things like go to school, go to sleep or even eat. You know, a basic necessity for you to bloody survive. She is _so_ _fussy_."

He groans loudly, and Callum can't help but laugh.

"I wouldn't call her fussy. She's just being annoying for the sake of it. She always eats everything I make her so I know she likes most of the things that she claims she doesn't."

"It's your cooking. She'll eat anything you make her. But if it's not made by you, she won't touch it. Lola's always complaining about how she won't eat her veggies, won't eat this, won't eat that. How do I tell her it's because she won't eat anything that isn't made by you?"

Callum laughs and hugs him, pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

"Don't worry. I'll have her eating vegetables for Lola in no time. You'll see."

"Oh yeah? I'm gonna hold you to that. If you can have her eating veggies for Lola by the end of this week, I will marry you on the spot."

Callum laughs, pulling away from the hug so he can grab another box.

"Come on then. These boxes ain't gonna carry themselves."

Ben sticks his tongue out at him and Callum does it right back.

—

"Ok, I'll sort the stuff in here while you sort the stuff in the bedroom. Just come and get me if you need my help with anything."

Ben smiles and nods, leaning up to press a quick kiss to Callum's cheek before skipping off to the bedroom. Callum watches him with a fond smile and a small shake of the head.

When Ben makes it into the bedroom, he spots a box on the bed that he doesn't remember he or Callum packing.

Did Callum pack this in secret?

He furrows his brows in confusion, heading over to inspect the mystery box. He laughs when he reads the big, bold writing on top.

**KEEP OUT BEN**

Surely Callum should know by now that telling Ben not to do something is only going to make him way more likely to do it.

He looks over his shoulder to make sure Callum isn't around before turning back to look at the box.

One little peak won't hurt...

He slides his finger across the top, searching for the tape and smiles when he finds it. He peels the tape back before quietly and carefully opening it up.

A huge, mischievous grin makes its way onto his face when he sees what's inside. It's a bunch of jumpers and...are those beanies?

He pulls one of the jumpers out and a small, amused chuckle passes his lips. It's a purple jumper with a small green alien throwing a peace sign in the corner.

He brings the jumper up to his nose and smiles when he smells Callum's aftershave on it. He's clearly still been wearing these when Ben isn't around.

He can't help but wonder why Callum has kept these hidden from him for so long. They're adorable. He'd love it if he wore them around the house.

He hears footsteps behind him and panics, hiding the jumper behind his back and stepping in front of the box in an attempt to hide the fact he's been snooping.

"Ben, have you seen my- oh. What are you doing?"

Ben shrugs and smiles, keeping the jumper hidden behind his back and hoping Callum doesn't notice.

"Nothing. What have you lost now, babe?"

Callum eyes him suspiciously. Ben is hiding something, he can tell.

"What's that behind your back?"

"O-Oh, uh...nothing."

His voice comes out in a high-pitched squeak, and that's when it dawns on Callum that he must've snooped in the box.

He sighs, shaking his head with a small smile. Trust Ben to do the one thing he specifically told him not to do. He really shouldn't have expected any less.

"You snooped, didn't you?"

He laughs then, letting Ben know he's not mad. A small, nervous chuckle escapes Ben's lips and he pulls the jumper from behind his back, revealing it to Callum.

"I uh...couldn't help myself. When someone tells me not to do something, it makes me want to do it even more. But I don't understand why you kept these hidden from me. They're adorable!"

Callum sighs, heading over to Ben and taking the jumper from his hands. He places it back in the box before sitting on the bed and patting the spot next to him.

Ben takes a seat next to him, watching him curiously as he reaches into the box and pulls out a pile of printed photos.

"It wasn't the jumpers I was hiding from you. It was this...era, if you will. It was a weird time. I was such a different person to who I am now and I just- I didn't want you to be ashamed or embarrassed of me."

Ben shakes his head, resting a hand on his thigh and giving it a light squeeze.

"I could never be ashamed of you, Cal. You're my boyfriend and I love you. Whatever it is, you can tell me and I won't judge you."

Callum nods, taking a deep breath in and out before beginning to explain.

"So um, you know my childhood wasn't the best. Well, that's an understatement. It was terrible. Jonno, he...he was abusive. He hated the fact I was different to him and Stu. He hated the fact I only ever showed an interest in boys when I was a kid. He knew what I was before I did, and he hated it."

He pauses to swallow the lump that's forming in his throat, and Ben frowns. He knows that feeling all too well. Phil was exactly the same.

"It got to a point where he wouldn't let me make friends anymore. He wouldn't even let me leave the house unless it was for school. I spent most of my childhood locked away in the house, while he spent all that time getting black out drunk on the sofa or going out to the pub to get black out drunk there instead. I basically didn't have a dad. I had Stuart looking after me."

He pauses to let out a shaky breath, trying his absolute hardest not to cry. Ben gives his thigh a small rub, letting him know he's there without interrupting him.

"I didn't have a mum. She left us when I was four. Jonno blamed me for that, claimed I was the reason their marriage was destroyed and said my mum never loved me."

A few tears slip out of his eye but Ben is quick to catch them, gently caressing the side of his face with his thumb. Callum smiles weakly, turning his head to press a soft kiss to Ben's palm.

"Stuart was always there to defend me, of course. He was an amazing big brother. I didn't know it at the time but he took so many punches and beatings from Jonno just so I wouldn't get hurt. He couldn't stand to see me sad so he took everything on for me."

Two more tears start to make their way down his face but Ben wipes them away, peppering his face with soft, feathery kisses.

"You can stop if it's too much. We don't have to talk about this right now."

"No, no. I want to. May as well get it all out in the open to explain why I'm such a freak."

He laughs bitterly, but Ben shakes his head, cupping Callum's face in his hands and gently tilting his head up so he's looking into his eyes.

"Hey. You are _not_ a freak. You're the most amazing, kind, funny, sweet, loyal, brave, beautiful guy I've ever met and I love you so, so much. You will never understand how much I love you."

A small sob makes its way past his lips, so Ben pulls him into his arms and holds him close, scattering soft kisses along his hair while rubbing his back in soothing circles.

"Shh, it's okay. I've got you, you're okay. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise."

He uses his free hand to carefully wipe away Callum's tears before planting a soft, gentle kiss just beneath his eye.

Callum manages the weakest smile, and while it kills Ben in ways he couldn't possibly describe to see him so distraught, it's relieving to see him smiling. Even if it's barely there.

"But um, what he didn't realise was that every time he went to a friend's house to borrow food or money, or when he went to the shops, Jonno would hit me. Over and over. He thought he could 'beat the queer out of me' as he used to say."

He laughs bitterly, and Ben feels sick to his stomach. That's horrifying. How could any parent do that to their own child?

"I think the most fucked up part was that I didn't even know what the word 'gay' meant. I was seven years old, getting smacked about just for lookingat someone wrong. If I even _glanced_ towards a boy he would slap me. If he caught me talking to a boy he would punch me. One time he caught me kissing my friend on the cheek, innocently, and beat me so bad I ended up in the hospital. I had to lie and say I got jumped on the way home from school."

Ben feels his heart drop into his stomach as Callum carries on. How did Jonno get away with that? Why isn't he in prison?

He should be locked up in a cell, getting taught a lesson by the other inmates for laying a hand on a child. He shouldn't be parading around the streets, acting all smug as if nothing ever happened.

"I wore jumpers and beanies every day back in high school. Always got in trouble for not wearing the correct uniform. The problem was, not only did Jonno refuse to buy me a proper uniform but I needed a way to hide all the bruises, and I was hardly gonna put on makeup was I? Not with a dad like him."

Ben can feel a patch on his shirt starting to dampen and it's only then that he realises Callum is silently crying once again.

He carefully lifts his head from his chest, gently wiping his tears away for him. Callum sniffles, forcing back a sob and carrying on.

"I had long hair and a beanie to hide the black eyes and bust lip. The jumpers were to hide all the bruises on my arms. I kept to myself, refused to even make eye contact with the other students so Jonno wouldn't hurt me. But he still did. He always did. He didn't need a reason, he just hated me."

Ben is speechless. He wishes he could say something, _anything,_ but he can't find the words.

"And uh...I guess it kinda just stuck. I got so used to wearing them. Hell, it's what everyone knew me for. It was the 90s going into the early 2000s, so everyone wore caps and snapbacks. I was the only one who wore beanies. I was nicknamed 'Beanie Boy'."

He snorts. It was so pathetic. What kind of an insult is 'Beanie Boy?'

"But um, yeah. It stuck for most of my life. It was 2019 when I finally ditched the beanie, just before you moved to the square actually. Everyone said it was weird, 'cause who's Halfway without his stupid hat? But that was just it...I didn't want to be Halfway anymore. I wanted to be Callum."

Ben finally manages to think of something to say. It's nothing revolutionary but it's something.

"And that's why you kept these hidden from me? You didn't want me to see you how everyone else sees you because you were worried I might judge you?"

Callum nods and sighs. Ben smiles sadly, resting his chin on top of Callum's head and holding onto him.

"What are we gonna do with you, hey? I would never judge you, Cal. First of all, that would make me a massive hypocrite considering _my_ dark past...and second, I love you. All of you. Even the bits you don't like. You're perfect to me."

Callum smiles tearfully, pressing a soft kiss to Ben's shoulder.

"I love you so much, Ben."

"I love you too, Cal. More than you will ever know."

He drops one more soft kiss to Callum's head before turning to the box beside them.

"Can I?"

He gestures to a beanie and Callum looks over to see what he's talking about. He nods so Ben picks it up and inspects it, before turning to Callum with a cheeky smile.

Callum knows that smile all too well. He's planning something.

"Ben, no, don't-"

"Too late!"

Ben puts the Beanie on Callum's head, pulling it down to just above his ears and sitting back to admire him. Callum blushes and Ben smiles.

"You're so cute. You look cute in those photos too, even with that awful trim."

Callum laughs and Ben smiles, glad to see he's feeling a bit happier now.

"God, this thing is so ugly."

He goes to take the hat off but Ben stops him, holding his hands over the beanie so he can't remove it.

"Noo, leave it! You look cute!"

Callum rolls his eyes but he's not annoyed. Ben is just so irritating sometimes.

"You're so annoying."

"You love me really."

Callum smiles, pulling Ben in for a short but sweet kiss. Ben smiles against his lips, bringing a hand up to cup his jaw.

"You know I do."

"Soppy git."

"Say it back, you dick."

Ben laughs softly. God, he loves this man so much.

"I love you too, babe."

They share another kiss before resting their foreheads together. They've both got these big, dopey grins on their faces as they gaze lovingly into each other's eyes.

Neither of them can quite believe it. They actually have their own place. This isn't a dream, this is real life.

"To the moon?"

Ben rolls his eyes and smiles.

"And back."


End file.
